All poems I wrote for you

i dream about you again this morning i dream about you - i wake up - sleep - dream again - wake up again - on repeat from 6 am till 9 am till my heart hurts.  it was about you messaging me one day before our group gathering. you said you wanna pick me up & you explain that you wanted me all this time. you showed the evidences of how you try to ignore me but deep down want to reach me. on d-day, i was waiting for ur reply. i want to meet u first to talk about us then going to the gathering, but idk why you didn't reply & didn't come. even in my dream, i can't see you, i can't have you.

 hi, how you doing?  me? i wish i was as good as you this past few days, you're stuck in my mind honestly i low-key hope that  i'd still able to know what you do & how you do honestly i wished that u'll be here so i could see u once again or forever? 

 just if you choose to hold my hand i'll never let go of yours just if you choose to look at me in the eye i'll never turn away just if you could love me a little bit  more i'll give you the world oh, i already did but you tore it apart 

today is my birthday unconsciously I wish for something more  even if I already know it will never happens

your bright smile under the moonlight and your soft eyes looking at me dearly your pure smile your pure eyes I fell for those  that beautiful night still lies in my brain without trying to escape  oh my dandelion you are still shining  even at night oh my dandelion I hope to see you again even only in my dream

 you were in my dream you texted me it contains important dates about me and you made it on column after a long time you finally texted me  and said many things that shows how much you loves me such as the pain that you feel when im in pain your proud feeling when im on stage  and how much you miss me and the reason you cant be with me; your college in my dream im waking up empty and crying

 everything feels like yesterday even though two years has passed i am still missing you  my heart is still aching  after years.. 

those days we fell too hard we hurt each other we left without reasons these days I'm on the winter left behind seeing you shooting arrow to the sun called me inexperience cause you took the experience long live your love while my broken wings unhealed

written by Hani

Dandelion  My love is like dandelion It makes you warm Like the summer does Dandelion is happiness It brings joy Like our youth Dandelion is pure love It heals me Just like you Dandelion is unbeaten It will survive and Our love will rise written by Hani

It was a dark stormy night. I was standing still on the bridge while staring at the river beneath me. The rain started to pour and the river flows became swift. Still, I didn't move, I kept holding the fence, feeling all wet on my body. Even though it was not snowing, my bones could feel the coldness. “Should I jump?" I was thinking about that since I knew the truth, I couldn't handle the pain that hits me fiercely. I shuddered, my feet felt numb after standing for hours, my stomach felt sore, my eyes and nose became red as an apple, I couldn't even hear anything although the bridge was pretty crowded. In seconds, I couldn't feel my body, my eyes felt heavy. On the next day, I ended waking up in my room and I still remembered the amazing thing about that night was, I couldn't feel the pain of my body, the only thing I feel was my broken heart. originally written by me, hani

how it feels to be mature enough?

i don''t even know whats wrong with myself please dont come to my dream nope i don't love you anymore it just i don't know it's hurt a little it's weird like, how come?

dont be selfish acting you're the one who get hurt remember how many people you've hurt in the past? you have to pay for it people out there still trying to show their best version hiding their pain every one know that it's not easy so why dont you keep trying, han?

lately, I have so many worries b u t i t s o k all the kids are depressed and growing up sucks

I used to dreams about you. almost every single day that time I liked you so much and it brings me pain my heart feels so hurt after waking up from my dreams because I can't reach you out

not recently but I realize after you left when there is no wake-up calls it got me fucked up sometimes I didn't attend my class I couldn't get up  because I forget to told my mom to wake me up even I set my alarms I didn't work but a single word from your mouth help me a lot

I was trembling your cold eyes your cold voice your cold heart put all the blame on me put it on me I'm the one who falls I'm the one who tries I'm the one who cries "no more tears you'll be okay" I said to myself every day i'll become stronger i'll forget you i'll erase this feeling just like the words "fake it till you become it"

I have no idea why am I crying at 9 am because of this song?

its midnight and suddenly i want to write something selesai sudah hmmm actually this is my first time loving someone this sincere huek first time juga aku jadi orang blak-blakan gila emang but i have no regret aku udah belajar banyak banget dari belajar punya hati yang besar iyaloh, buat loving someone in my case like this, bener-bener harus siap hati wkwk belajar stay positive heran sama aku yang naksir orang kok bisa positive thinking terus gt lho? ini juga first time seumur idup lol belajar always be grateful!!! even this year i lost three person (my grandma, my brotha, and him) that i loved, i still should be grateful, god always know the best apalagi ya banyak pokoknya aku yang sekarang beda bgt sama yang dulu i never told anyone how i feel back then sekarang mah ceplas ceplos yang malah (mungkin) itu jadi burden buat orang yang aku sayang hmmm tapi aku juga nyadar aku gamau dikasih reaction yang setengah2 ya? yaudah nggak? yaudah kalo ada yang ng...

that night at the rooftop thinking about you while watching the stars i start to enjoy cigarettes do you know why? maybe because i think cigarettes could replace your lips

how would you feel if I told you I love you? I think this is the first post that I'll write in Bahasa I'm sure this will be full of cringe, sorry

I miss you I keep thinking about you since I woke up no actually since last night but it just exploded this morning. I really wanted to call you and tell you how much I miss you... but I hold it. I've been chasing you for a week nothing happened. I told you that I love you guess its a joke to you. in the end,  I'm hurting alone. I can't repeat that phase again. I didn't make any call  or sent any message because I knew it wouldn't make any change and I'll suffer alone. Today, I've tried so hard to get you out of my mind, I've tried so many ways... but as always I miss you again and again.

this night i was just fine reading your text it was just "hehehehe" and a sticker and i didn't reply i thought for a second oh, now i know this is not love yea i don't think its love then i checked my instagram you followed a second account and its a girl in seconds my tears dropped why am i just your "best friend"? why am i just your "sometimes"? no i cant blame you it all my faults

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